Dee rides the Ambulance!!

Life as I know it has changed since the last week of June 2009. For the last 3 years I have been waiting for a break..for something to change my life, and finally it happened!

Anyway to celebrate this huge news my bestest friend in the whole wide world came to visit me in Singapore 4 days back and as usual we had the time of our life! So over martinis we started rehashing old tales, swapping stories of our most drunken adventures.

One of my crazy stories I told her made us laugh so loud we almost ended up on the floor tearing and gasping for breath! It made me wonder why I never blogged about it, I mean its only fair for all you guys (ok atleast the 4 of you) who read my blog to have a good laugh too!

So here goes, a year and a half back my good friend Zoey flew down from Indonesia when she heard that I was finally out of a moronically morose relationship to celebrate my freedom and to welcome me back to Singlehood (such bliss!). Of course the only itinerary on her trip was - Booze and lots of it.

So we checked into a hotel for a night armed with a bottle of Baileys, White Wine and Tequila (3 things among others I dont know how to say NO to!). One of Zoey's friends who was apparently tying the knot the next month also came along to join her, lets refer to her as Gina. Now I dint know Gina very well but I thought what the heck, the more the merrier. As the drinking began, we got progressively giggly, loud and freaky as most of us women do. We polished off half the bottle of Baileys and the whole bottle of Tequila in 3 hours and somehow found it in ourselves to get dressed and go hit the dance clubs.

Only as we were walking across the hotel lobby to the cab stand did I realise from the way our voices echoed and bounced back off the walls - how absolutely sloshed we were! We reach the club, immediately get on the dance floor and start grooving...in that - our steps dont match the music way that only people really high can achieve...lots of butt dropping hip grinding hair tossing movements. Anyway in the split second of executing one of our hair tossing movements, Zoya and I turned around to look at Gina...and she wasnt there!!

We freaked out...we started screaming her name...we looked in the loo, the smoking room, behind the bar, on the dance floor and then even outside the club. Once we reached outside though, I realised how sick the drinking had made Zoya and held back her hair while she threw up all over the outside of the club. At that moment I knew I had to get her to bed! So I got us a cab and took her to the hotel and put her to bed, she knocked out like a bag of dead bullets.

Now..dont think the alcohol hadnt hit me...I was pretty high myself....but something at the back of my mind was nagging me....that I had to find Gina. So i started calling Gina's phone, again and again. Finally with my mind reeling I took a two minute break to smoke a stick and lo and behold my phone rings and its Gina's number. However when I answer its a guy screaming into the phone with really loud music in the background.

Turns out he is the security guard in the Club we just left and he had found Gina passed out in the smoking room. I told him Id be there in 5, hung up and immediately rushed to the club. I remember pulling into the driveway of the club and seeing an ambulance, I even remember crossing my fingers and thinking in my head...please please please dont let it be for Gina.

Pushing my way through the crowd I finally reached the smoking room to find the Medics hovering over Gina and a Cop is immediately next to me asking me a gazillion questions and then Im following Gina out...she is sleeping like the dead on a stretcher and im pushed into the front seat of the ambulance.

I calmly strap on the seat belt and give a nervous smile to the driver but in my mind im going - WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING IN AN AMBULANCE!! and just as the thought hits me the driver cranks up the Siren and I remember having the uncontrollable urge to laugh loudly!! (I was freaking high you know!)

So we arrive at the hospital, they give me one of those masky things to wear on my mouth..Ten forms are pushed into my hands to fill and they wheel Gina away into the belly of the hospital. I spend close to an hour and a half filling up the forms only to realise I dont know anything about this girl, her allergies, her medical history...nothing!!

So i start digging in her purse (ya the Cops gave me her purse), I pull out her cell phone and start flipping through the contacts, and come across a name that is familiar, I recall her telling us that this guy Jake is now her ex cos she is marrying someone else who lives outside the country.

So I call Jake, after trying to call Zoey a gazillion times..but something told me she was still out cold. Jake makes me call him 3 times to tell him the same story cos he doesnt believe me and he thinks its a drunken prank we are all playing on him. Gosh I still remember standing in the waiting room and screaming - Im not joking you MORON, why cant you just get your butt here??? Seeing my situation a nurse comes up to me, offers to introduce herself to Jake on the phone and persuade him to come down. 5 mins later she hands me back the phone and tells me Ok he is coming. Halleluiah!!

So I wait for another half hour for the guy to get there. He is all mumbling apologies and thank yous. Twenty minutes later we are let into the ICU, Gina is blissfully sleeping. The nurse tells me she is perfectly fine and can be taken home when she wakes up. At that moment I find my whole body filling up with such red hot rage!! Why the fuck couldnt she just hold on to one of us in the club and tell us she needs to go home, We would have taken her!! and now just cos she couldnt hold her drink, I had to spend the whole night in a hospital!! I was so terrified that I wouldnt make sense to the nurses that as soon as I reached the hospital I forced myself to puke out all the alcohol and drank like 4 cups of coffee just to be mentally present in the situation.

I storm out of the hospital and get a cab to the hotel. Its 6.45am when I get there and Zoey is just coming to. I remember telling her the whole story and for some strange reason we end up laughing uncontrollably!! I zonked off and slept till 12 noon the next day just to wake up rehash the whole story with Zoey again and laugh ourselves senseless.

Later that day while I was soaking in the tub and enjoying the last few hours we had left in the hotel, I hear Zoey talking to Gina on the phone and that Gina doesnt even know why she woke up in the hotel. And listen to this - no thank you Dee for taking care of me, nothing - only - Any idea if Dee knows where my shoes are??

Jeez...thats one day that I will never forget in my life. Lessons learnt - 1. No matter how much I drink, I know how to keep my wits about me. 2. Never drink with people you dont know from Adam. 3. Never wear heels if you want to get into an ambulance (HE HE)

When I look back this story seems hilarious, but I will always remember it as the only time I rode the ambulance and that too for a complete stranger who was attacked by - sleepiness.

Nevertheless, its always a great story to tell...I loved re-telling it and blogging it, now heres hoping you will get a good laugh out of it too!

xoxo
Dee